O Canada (New Version)

O Canada, our living quarters and aboriginals persons, including Inuit, Métis, and First Nations land

True patriot love, implying affection, but not in a sexual way, in all thy gender non-specific spouse offspring's suggestion

With growing hearts, we get horny, the true North strong and free

From far and weight-challenged, O Canada, we stand or sit on guard for thee

Non-denominational, gender-unspecified supreme being keep our land, glorious and free

O Canada, we stand ready to sit down and discuss our differences in a civilized manner for thee

O Canada, we stand ready to sit down and discuss our differences in a civilized manner for thee

This is an O Canda I would stand for!

Let Your Light Shine!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure!
It is our Light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are born to make manifest the Glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us. It's in everyone.
And as we let our own Light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fears,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

-- Marianne Williamson

Quotes from Dan Millman

The Way of the Peaceful Warrior did and still is changing my life. The lessons and meanings behind it still baffle me. Here is a number of quotes from the book and the author. It clearly idenitfies my current state of being, (or not being) in life right now. This is how apart of how I really feel.

“You haven't yet opened your heart fully, to life, to each moment. The peaceful warrior's way is not about invulnerability, but absolute vulnerability--to the world, to life, and to the Presence you felt. All along I've shown you by example that a warrior's life is not about imagined perfection or victory; it is about love. Love is a warrior's sword; wherever it cuts, it gives life, not death.”
- Dan Millman


“Every positive change--every jump to a higher level of energy and awareness--involves a rite of passage. Each time to ascend to a higher rung on the ladder of personal evolution, we must go through a period of discomfort, of initiation. I have never found an exception.”
- Dan Millman

“If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is a law, and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.”
- Dan Millman

“It may be true that the unexamined life is not worth living—but neither is the unlived life worth examining.”
- Dan Millman

“Moderation? It's mediocrity, fear, and confusion in disguise. It's the devil's dilemma. It's neither doing nor not doing. It's the wobbling compromise that makes no one happy. Moderation is for the bland, the apologetic, for the fence-sitters of the world afraid to take a stand. It's for those afraid to laugh or cry, for those afraid to live or die. Moderation...is lukewarm tea, the devil's own brew.”
- Dan Millman

“Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is...The only problem in your life is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.”
- Dan Millman

“Wake up! If you knew for certain you had a terminal illness--if you had little time left to live--you would waste precious little of it! Well, I'm telling you...you do have a terminal illness: It's called birth. You don't have more than a few years left. No one does! So be happy now, without reason--or you will never be at all.”
- Dan Millman

“When we feel stuck, going nowhere--even starting to slip backward--we may actually be backing up to get a running start.”
- Dan Millman

Ninja OldManRivers

Looks like OldManRivers has officaly become a lethal stealth warrior-ninja!
Look out evil-doers, OldManRivers will stab you from behind without you know it.
Then after that I'll throw some stars are you.
(No not the ones in the sky, but Brad Pitt, Tom Hanks, Jennifer Aniston will be thrown at you!~)

Bike Ride to Dunderave

What a wonderful 26 degree Celsius day today. The sun was shinning. The bird were chirping; and making love to the bee's, or so I'm told. Today was the day I felt like taking a bike ride. First time I've pulled my bike out in a long time. Not since last summer probably. It's a pretty good old bike. I actually stole it from my sister because she never used it... (But shh, don't tell her.)

The tires were flat, the pedal was broken and the seat was out of wack. Of course, I fixed it with little problem. Went to the gas station to pump up the ties with air. For some damn reason though, it took longer then I wanted to get going. My iPod was taking forever to load. Fixing the bike took long. I forgot thing after thing. But eventually I moved on and went for my first bike ride of the summer season. (Shut up, it's summer!)

My path took me down Marine Dr. towards Lions Gate Bridge. I went through Park Royal mall, then Park Royal Village. Past the Village toward the really nice soccer fields. Some women were having a soccer practice. Made me want to play soccer, or have a woman; not sure. I biked past the soccer players, made my way through Amblside. Past some more Frisbee, soccer, baseball, football and just people in the grass. They all looked serene and quaint. Made me want to do all of the above with some friends. But nope, I was biking.

On track, through Ambleside. Down to Dunderave. I swerved right, left, everywhere, to get past the people. They were nice and didn't get annoyed by my biking. I continued on to go where I usually walk; the warf. I ended up on the road in West Van. Fortunately there was no cars. I took this opportunity to feel serenity. I stretched my wing span, took deep breaths, felt the cool air in my face as I let my bike glide with no worries of hitting something with my eyes closed. It was at that moment I felt at peace, for once, in a long time. I came back into awareness and moved on.

I made it to the warf fine. More people then expected. I biked around the beach, then onto the warf. While there I was able to take a few pictures to blog here. I was in awe of the beauty of the land, with the sky, and the sunset. I was thinking 'it feels fantastic to be in my territory'. The sun was setting faster then I expected so I head back.

While away I was able to think on many of my plans. Choices Summer BBQ. All Community Forum. Community BBQ. Family Potlatch & Canoe. Radio stations and restaurants. I have many plans and it feels calming to relax and let my mind run free. Now I am home and feeling hungry.

Hopefully I will figure out somewhere healthy to eat. More biking/walking will be in the future for OldManRivers

Help would be nice...

This is why the heart fails me
"Everything happens for a reason"
I believe that too.
This I must learn from this.
But, for fuck sakes....

I can't help but feel angery.
He hates this life period.
Yet he knows only he can change it.
Except he's waiting.
Which is just as annoying.
It's like your waiting for the "3,1,2 GO".
But they only finished saying 2.

This life has it's challenges.
I need a reboot.
need/want
Reboot and an upgrade.
This is a horrible feeling.

At least when your depressed you know where you are.
When your happy your good at where you are.
This...?

"Where am I?"
Here
"When am I?"
Now

This is unsettling.
Im a liar
I've never opened up to people.

Everything so far was a tiny layer of the onion into a story of feelings as tragic as the person itself.
I've created my own walls because I believed in other peoples weakness
I am not happy and it's about time I owned up to that.
And I am angery, it's about time I claimed that.

But what to do with this energy.
I've dug myself into a hole of caverns about to burst.
With me inside.
Which ironicly I want.
Except, I'll be burried, not reborn.
I want to die.
so I can be born again.

I'm disgusted with what I've become.
What I do, think, feel,
Everything needs to be clear in order for there to be room for change.
Everything else is just bullshit of a illusion created by the past 17 years of my life.

Love, friendships, knowledge,
The only that feels real is the wisdom given to me.
The wisdom that is everything and nothing.
That which will and must remain.

Two wolves are fighting inside me.
Which one wins, is the one I feed more.
"Me" vs. Me
One wants to die, the other wants to live.
The first one wants to die because it's not living.
The other wants to live because it feels dead.

Paradox, humor and change
that would definitly be a paradox
Shut my eyes to the disgust
...and run smack into a tree

"Where are you?"
Here
"What time is it?"
Now

"If it feels like you are losing control of your life, rest assured that the circumstances will change"
...says the stars

I want to die (and so does everyone else, aparently...)

I've decided, more like, came to the conclusion: my life is worth living. Life is plagued with all these distractions to seperate, addict, and in the end destroy us. I choose to see it as a challenge from kexe7nex siyam (the creator) and my ansestors. We are bombared with ad campigns to reconize companies slogan, logo and design. TV set to seperate us from reality. Drowned us in it's illusion of reality. Yet when we watch we don't really feel. It is cheating, ourselves from what is really out there. It's like real love, and fake love. Fake love is easy to come by. For a good 200$ you can buy fake love. A few dinners, movies and some flowers can buy you some fake love. But real love, intimate or not, is a spiritual, intellectual, physical and emotional awakening. And thus is the same for every other "need", such as love, in our lives. I am just fed up with it, and say "Ya Basta!" (Enough!).

All be it, some TV shows are made to be an art form. Some movies, music and designs are truly expressively intellectual, spiritual, physical or emotional. Unfortunaly, most of the "junk" out there is set to distract us from really being us. It may distract us from worldy issues such as famine, geocide and destruction, which it does well, it distracts our spirit from somthing much more important, our spirit.

How many would rather smell the wind, or feel the trees? Would you stare at a river or a creek and learn what it has to offer? What would it take for you to want to die, so you can truly live. I find we've allowed this filter to be created around us, which we promote on our own lives. This spiritual filter we use to cover up what we really feel. Alcohlics, gamblers and drug addicts do it to cover up pain; would it be any different for any other addiction. TV? Video-games? Movies? I have learned that not living, is death, or at least the path to death; killing. I know now that I want to pay attention to the world around me. And more importantly, my own world. Do trees, the sky, the rain, the everything and nothing around me effect me in anyway. I find it idiotic that I don't remember what that tree looks like on my way to school. I know more about "THE OC", then do about the forests around here.

Then we hide ourselves away to get lost in the illusion, to be scared. Scared of our true power and potential. By watching TV we are not living. It creates this void of no emotion or intellectual rot inside our spirits.Growing into somthing magnificent to experence life. No? I wonder why. I say, can you learn to have fun without alchohol, but can you learn to truly live without distractions? iPods. Cell phones. TV. MSN. Celebrities. Fashon. Shopping. Movies. Music. Where does tool become downfall. I say our strengths become our weakness, and we continue to let these workable strengths lead to our weakness. As is any addiction. If your not addicted, can you stop automaticaly right now? Probably not.

I'm not sure if I'm more angery or sick of what I am. I want to die, die hard and fast, just so I can be born again. Rid of these thoughts and opinions. These set backs and illusions of reality. All this extra crap added on by friends, parents, and society all made to raise me as a bitch with a death wish. Quite frankly, I want to come out kicking and screaming to find the light. Not the light way out there, but the light inside myself. Be born again so I can live. Attention, Discipline. Paradox, humor and change. Life... What say you?

Photoshoot .5

Photo's taken by Nancy Bleck
Edited & Manipulated by OldManRivers
________________________________________

To see all photo's taken, click here.

Eleven out of 101

I havn't been keeping a fantastic track score of this, but now I will update you all on how OldManRivers is doing. On Rivers 101 in 1001, I have completed eleven tasks out of one hundred one. These include:

• coach choices - completed jan, 22nd 2006
• dance at pot-latch - completed nov. 27th, 05 (Waxiwidi Potlatch)
• be on T.V - completd april 24th, 2006 (Solidarity with Six Nations March)
  
• break the law - completed dec. 12th, 05
• go out with friends & pretend to be drunk - completed dec. 3rd, 05
• be on the radio - completed jan. 13th, 05
• publish an article - Truth Tellings from the Skwxwu7mesh (Redwire Magazine)
• befriend a complete stranger
- completed may 3rd, 2006 - (Sex, Drugs & Rock N Roll Conference)
• be interviewed - completed jan 15th, 2005
• come up with own ______ code for self
- completed april 31st, 2006 (Click Here)
• get people to chant after me
- completed april 24th, 2006 (Solidarity with Six Nations March)
• do yoga - completed jan. 4th, 2006

I predict the summer will open opportunities for me to complete some more tasks. Such as "climb a mountian", "go camping" and others. So far it's going pretty good but some of the tasks are hard to complete when I don't have enough free time.