the latest (viva la revolution)
I've been "self evaluating" myself alot latly and, i think it's the new year that brough it on. For a long time I knew "okay, I'm slacking now, but I'll get going, I know I will!" and that "it's time to kick some ass" has arived and I'm having the best time doing it.
I barly play video games. I'm eating alot healthyer. I'm getting alot more physical excersise. And overall it's feeling great.
In the long run it's my on going process to "de-colonize" myself. What that really mean to "decolonize myself" is a process that I'm really taking one step at a time. I think about who I am and wonder "what is it about me that has been brainwashed on me, or my people". It's kinda like teaching yourself to unteach what you've been taught. A good example of this is "materialism". Every day I make myself become less and less materialistic and to become more apathetic to material wealth. This belief that "power is money" and "money is happyness" isn't neccisarily believed on the widespread among our people but that "materistic" ideals are still there. It's also like "what you own, ends up owning you". I have come to realize this with my ipod, my xbox, my computer etc etc etc. I started to think "what is it that I'm doing that is (to but it bluntly) the white-mans ways". Part of this decolonization process is to break down those wall and to indigenize myself. To become more stelmexw. This started out as first being my "thoughts" and the things I believe to full blown, the THINK.
Because of this process, which has made me feel stronger and even more spiritual, i have changed my beliefs. I am no longer christian. I no longer believe in a savior named Christ. I no longer believe that some big all powerfull christian god made me. I don't believe in angels anymore. I don't believe that Jesus will come back and save us all or that he died for our sins. It's fine that people believe that, I just don't.
The hard part of this process is really sacrficing things. I can kinda understand how addicts must feel. It's like "I know this crack is bad for me, but it feels sooooooo goood". I know that this colonial way of thinking is really bad, (we have Euro-american history to prove it) but the ignorance of it, feeels soooooo goood.
This has also led me to figure out my root beliefs, ideals, and esentialy what I search for, no madder what. It's my temporary "code". The search for balance and understanding. I see understanding and balance as the root structure for my life because, it was the root structure of my ancestors lifes.
The best way of looking at what I want to become is. Imagine our people didn't go through all the hardships and that whtie people and people claiming to be christians were all nice and friendly and respected us and everything. In this magical la la land world, we co-exsisted with all these forieigners. We were never brainwashed or had beliefs or ways of thinkin forced into our minds. What kind of stelmexw would we have in 2006 if THAT was history? What kind of skwxwu7mesh people would we have? Yes, some things would of been adapted. We would probably be wearing these clothes we're wearing now. We would not value money above all else. We would not be ignorant. All those 'we would not be' s, is what I want to be. That is decolonization. And this process of getting there, is alot harder then falling into it. There is no Great War or Great Depression. The Great War is our spirituality, the Great Depression is our lives.
On that note, I always leave knowing where my framework structure of my being is. Because of that, I always feel aserted. This also works for me because, the creator has blessed me with sooooooo many things in the past few months. (Like the CBC Radio, Choices, Kristen going through, etc etc etc)
I really know that I have never felt any more spiritual now then ever and it feels great.
But the whole reason I am doing this now is because, as a people, we need to do the same thing. First myself, then my family, then my friends, then my people then our nation. The Indigenous Revolution my friend, it's out there, more people just need to live it.
Viva La Revolution
(I know I know, I went really green. I think I just have these, what I call, GREEN-BLACKOUTS)
they are really fun...well, for a green...lol
Have a great day
and have fun
I barly play video games. I'm eating alot healthyer. I'm getting alot more physical excersise. And overall it's feeling great.
In the long run it's my on going process to "de-colonize" myself. What that really mean to "decolonize myself" is a process that I'm really taking one step at a time. I think about who I am and wonder "what is it about me that has been brainwashed on me, or my people". It's kinda like teaching yourself to unteach what you've been taught. A good example of this is "materialism". Every day I make myself become less and less materialistic and to become more apathetic to material wealth. This belief that "power is money" and "money is happyness" isn't neccisarily believed on the widespread among our people but that "materistic" ideals are still there. It's also like "what you own, ends up owning you". I have come to realize this with my ipod, my xbox, my computer etc etc etc. I started to think "what is it that I'm doing that is (to but it bluntly) the white-mans ways". Part of this decolonization process is to break down those wall and to indigenize myself. To become more stelmexw. This started out as first being my "thoughts" and the things I believe to full blown, the THINK.
Because of this process, which has made me feel stronger and even more spiritual, i have changed my beliefs. I am no longer christian. I no longer believe in a savior named Christ. I no longer believe that some big all powerfull christian god made me. I don't believe in angels anymore. I don't believe that Jesus will come back and save us all or that he died for our sins. It's fine that people believe that, I just don't.
The hard part of this process is really sacrficing things. I can kinda understand how addicts must feel. It's like "I know this crack is bad for me, but it feels sooooooo goood". I know that this colonial way of thinking is really bad, (we have Euro-american history to prove it) but the ignorance of it, feeels soooooo goood.
This has also led me to figure out my root beliefs, ideals, and esentialy what I search for, no madder what. It's my temporary "code". The search for balance and understanding. I see understanding and balance as the root structure for my life because, it was the root structure of my ancestors lifes.
The best way of looking at what I want to become is. Imagine our people didn't go through all the hardships and that whtie people and people claiming to be christians were all nice and friendly and respected us and everything. In this magical la la land world, we co-exsisted with all these forieigners. We were never brainwashed or had beliefs or ways of thinkin forced into our minds. What kind of stelmexw would we have in 2006 if THAT was history? What kind of skwxwu7mesh people would we have? Yes, some things would of been adapted. We would probably be wearing these clothes we're wearing now. We would not value money above all else. We would not be ignorant. All those 'we would not be' s, is what I want to be. That is decolonization. And this process of getting there, is alot harder then falling into it. There is no Great War or Great Depression. The Great War is our spirituality, the Great Depression is our lives.
On that note, I always leave knowing where my framework structure of my being is. Because of that, I always feel aserted. This also works for me because, the creator has blessed me with sooooooo many things in the past few months. (Like the CBC Radio, Choices, Kristen going through, etc etc etc)
I really know that I have never felt any more spiritual now then ever and it feels great.
But the whole reason I am doing this now is because, as a people, we need to do the same thing. First myself, then my family, then my friends, then my people then our nation. The Indigenous Revolution my friend, it's out there, more people just need to live it.
Viva La Revolution
(I know I know, I went really green. I think I just have these, what I call, GREEN-BLACKOUTS)
they are really fun...well, for a green...lol
Have a great day
and have fun
posted by Rivers at 9:58 PM
1 Comments:
My name is Thomas, and I am a writer. I don't anything about you but I do know that you are taking the right steps to figuring out who you are. It is very important to figure out what it is that you believe, to question, search and fight through difficult questions. Have faith. Christ isn't going to give up on you. It is alright to question, and to doubt. In the end, it's Christ who is going to win.
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