ReCLAIMING the frickin' damn language!

The night is young. Well, kinda. The night is this past thursday. I just finished a long day of theater workshops on language reclaimation. I made it to downtown from UBC, thought "should I see Superman". I figured yeah, whynot. Movie was good, but that's not important. I knew I had to wake up early and head to another day of workshops, at UBC. I made it there 35 min early so I thought I could leave a bit later. But still, 5.5 hours isn't a whole lot of sleep (I know, it's bad).

I made my way to the last buss of the night. Made it to the buss stop, read the schedual. I had a decision; wait 20 min or flag cap and be home in 20 min. I decided I would save my money, and catch the buss. Best decision ever. Sat down, waiting for the buss. Unfortunaly my iPod broke down and I had nothing to do.

Two Mexican dudes roll up. I could smell the ciggerettes and alcohol on them. They asked if I knew when the next buss was coming. I told them, they nodded in appreciation. They sat down on the bench beside me. I, quietly waited for the buss to show up. The two Mexicn guys, start talking, well, Mexican to each other. They go off, and eventualy I can tell one is telling some kind of story because he's laughing and pretending to drive a buss. And the two guys go off talking to each other in Mexican. Just gave me more push to learn my language.

Waiting, waiting. The buss shows up. But, ever imagined a buss strolling up. Strobe lights, disco ball, flashing lights, lazers, everything all going off on a buss, as music resonates through the streets off of this huge car. Anyways, this wasn't that. But very similar. The buss rolls up, and I can hear singing coming from the buss. I step on, and walk past 4 people sitting up front. I decided to sit as close to these rowdy people, laughing and singing away. Then I notice they're singing in a different language. I listen closly and figure out it's French. The 3 women are going off, clapping, yelling, screaming away singing really off-key but still funnyly, little songs, of I don't know what, in French. The shout out "Viva la france!" and a bunch of other stuff. They talk to each other, say song names and sing.

I loved it so much I wish I could join in. I realized, one day I want to learn French, just because I think the language is so amazing to speak to someone in. The accent, the sound, the way the language flows. Absolutly amazing. Although, I have more urgent matters to learn, and understand my language(s) before I be learning any more colonial languages. After getting off the buss and high fiving them all. I walked off feeling pretty good. Then like a coconut on the head, it hit me. I knew then and there how I would really begin to learn the language. And best part of all, I could get other to join me. Here's the plan.

• Write lyrics in English for a "folk/drinkin/kids" song. The lyrics must be extremly obserd and rediculus.
• Translate these lyrics into the language.
• Completly learn, and understand the lyrics after translated.
• Compose a rythem for the lyrics.
• Add clapping, instruments, or any kind of non-verbal sound.
• Compose everything in to one rythem moved, song.
• Teach others.

Now, imagine how much fun this would be. Sitting on the buss, or in public, wanting to have fun. You and your indigenous friend shout out in laughter (for no reason at all!) and begin singing these strange folk songs that, you, and maybe a tiny ammount of other people (who would rarely be around), would understand. These lyrics are completly irration and wacked. You build a repetoir of songs, all different types, but still upbeat. What a better way to feel indigenous. Laugh at yourself, be with your brothers and sisters in somthing in common, and live the indigenous way with motion, emotion, and language. The English lyrics could be somthing like the follow:

Babies, babies, ugly kids.
I hate babies.
Babies ugly.
I feel like juggaling, babies!
Look at me go,
Throwing the babies!

See what I mean. How freaking mean and stupid, and wrong, is that? But you and a very select few would wonder what the hell your talking about. People would wonder what your singing about, and your laughter would show somthing funny. But you would know. Almost like a secret code. Then, to your indigenous brothers and sister, you tell them "learn the language and you'll find out". Then, tell them to follow the sames steps as above! Absoluly hilarity. I think I'll write a song about pushing over the eldery, knocking babies down, brutaly hurting a fish, and tight clothes. LMAO!

OldManRivers in Heat

No, I'm not a pussy(cat) orr is my body telling me to hump somthing (or so you may think...lol) but it's getting hot out, as in, it's summer now! Let the fun times begin! I was able to finaly sleep in after all these days of waking up at the same routine times. Except I didn't want to sleep in. Its summer for crying out loud. Live each day like hell man. I woke up at the same usual time, questioning if I should go for a run or not? I eventualy said no as I am still sick from the aftermath of my quick cold. Still got it. But now it's just sinesses. My agreement with myself I made three days ago is:

• Run around the block after I wake up every morning for two weeks.
• Run down the street, around the block, after I wake up for two weeks.
• Run down to the end of the street, down the next street over, then home, for two weeks.
• Run around 1/2 of the reserve for two weeks.
• Run around 2/3rds of the reserve for two weeks.
• Run up to the swimming hole in the river.

Progressivly I'll begin to get stronger, or so I am led to believe. I figure there is no better time to go for a run but right after I wake up. Apart of my agreement is to also drink 2 glassess of water after each of the runs. Unfortunaly my latest development for work might change these plans slightly, but its good. You'll see. (more to come on this.) I also don't want to sleep in every morning for my summer. I want to start living my life more, and there no use waiting because change doesn't wait, it happens. It's so beautiful out and I just want to live it more. I also want to start taking morning baths, but I have to change my sleeping schedual to work that one. One step at a time.

So yesterday was Aboriginal Day. What did this indigenous young man do for Aboriginal Day? If any other person asked I would say "Grabed some beer, picked up my welfare cheque, ate some KFC, went to bingo, made traditional bannock, set up a roadblock, and took some settlers tax money's." Ya know, the ususal. But in all seriousness (Like I wasn't being serious before). I was like every other Aboriginal out there. Smiled, acted happy and complacent to all my settler friends who in fact have some best friends that are Aboriginal! The goverment would be so proud of me to look so happy in their country.

Anywho, after all the sarcasm I must say; I went to the Roundhouse for a play called "The Rez Show". It was very different. Not my kind of cheese, but oh well. I ran into a few friends. I always do things on my own. Independent like that I guess. My friend gave me some nice words of affirmation for it. She liked that quality in me. (HA! Take that all you non-independent people!) Unforunaly, Chief Ian Campbell seen in me sitting in the stands. Called me up and we sang a few songs. Made a bunch of indians/indian-lovers dance like bunnys, hummingbirds, beavers and salmon. It looked very Aboriginal. We sang a few other songs but I didn't really care. My favorite part was when I was passing everyone in their chairs to make my way to the stage, I triped and fell over. 10 people tryed to catch me, but I have true "river skills" and picked my balance back up right away. They asked "...are you alright?" but I said "ow! ow! ow!... man I should sober up!". They laughed.

After this performance (the play and whatnot) they had some squamish cultural thing. Now this part was the absolutly most digusting part. I can't think of things that digust me but this is one of them. Someone from my nation was asked with the task of getting as many Squamish together to sing some songs and whatnot. She picked up four different dance groups and whatnot. What was funny is that each dance group came out seperatly. How stupid eh? You would think that my people would, well, be, "my people". Not, "the eagle song dancers", "the sna7nem dancers" etc. But noo, we like our individualistic ways. Someone said it must be politics. Probably true. But I havn't even gotton to the sickening part. Over time I've come to learn of my experence and what "culture" really means. I stood backed and watched with my friend as about 30 or so Squamish sang some songs and whatnot. They all looked to "pretty" and "magestic" in their fancy Regalia. I think they needed shinner stuff though. What I can't understand is why people think "performing" is our culture. Performing traditional arts is as close to the culture as communists selling t-shirts with a big red star on it, are to communism. CRAZY! I know. They had all the little girls dressed up in nice paddle regalia. All these paddle jackets and paddle vests. These types of regalia are not even Squamish but oh well. So they performed the culture. Looked all nice and complacent. People clapped away. Enjoyed the spectacular songs and dances. Ugh.

How do people think this is cultural. To all you crazy go-getters our there. You enjoy the prostituting of my ansestors legacy, becuase all you'll get out of it is a nasty disease (called greed)! But honestly, it's what they do. Prostitute the culture. Just shit and rape it while you at it, I mean, c'mon, if anyone can "change" it, why the fuck right not right?

After that they had a Hip-Hop section of the show. Now I'm not into hip-hop native artists. All of it sounds like they want to find as many ways to rhyme "colonization". Yeah, pretty dumb. Anyways, there were these Sto'lo girls, cannot remember their name. Now they impressed me slightly. My friend Inez has an amazing voice. I could see with the right guidence and support, they would be pretty good. More practice and better beats, they would have decent. The whole hip hop portion just inspired me. It looked like so much fun to be up on stage like that. I must get into my guitar. I love music and want to make it so badly. (Note to self, buy tuner!)

Now, news of work for OldManRivers. I was offered a job today for the month of July. I would acomplish many great thing I wanted to this summer. Travel, hike, excersise, get out on the land, learn more of my culture, and make money. A friend of my dad's was approved for this his funding and I'll be doing some acheology this summer. We'll be hiking into some beautiful places, and even helicoptering far into also. I'm really excited about it. I'm thinking about either borrowing a digital camera or buying one to take pitures. Will definitly post them and keep you aprised! That about covers it as of late.

Well, the intresting things going on. There is of course a million more things going on, but this is all that is worth reporting on today. I'm excited that the summer is here and looking forward to what's coming next!

"Go Whitie Go!"

I appologize for not posting latley. In actuality, my friend/mentor W inadvertedly got me to by posting on his blog. (Click Here). I was compelled to post an update of what's been going on. There's alot to talk about so, enjoy. O where o where to begin. I've been bombed with idea's and thoughts of my uncouncious terrorists. (Like the metaphor?) Although, these idea's don't incite fear, nor do they provoke imperal genocide of over 200'000 people. No, these idea's are actualy pro-active for our people, and arn't "institutionalized" form of the revolution. But before we get to the actual idea, let's start with some things that have amazed me.

This part of my update begins a few weeks ago. Long story short, a fight broke out, A vs B. A fought B, then the fight was split up. B then walks away. Everyone else begins to walk home, away, to the next party (wherever), then B comes back. C yells "A! A! B's coming back. He's over here". I'm on the otherside of the road waiting for round 2. Ding ding ding, and the fight is a bit one sided as B has two big kitchen knives. B is sprinting after A. A's hands are slashed and the tip of a finger is cut off. B almost stabbes A but somehow, he didn't. (That part of the incident was hazy as I was calling the police.) D, E, F, G and a few others surround B. They have numorus wepons; 2 x 4's, clubs, crow bars and a farly big boulder. B starts swigging around the knives fight off everyone. G throws the boulder, square on the eyebrow, above the eye. B is down. Knocked down. Someone grabs the knives and throws them into the forrest. Now that was an intresting night.

OF course, there is more to the story but that's the basic idea for you to understand what I will be saying next. Rumors (it's rez right) spread like wild fire. I don't feel like telling you this silly accounts because, they are silly and are counter-productive. The strange thing is, by the time I got home, the cops come flying by my house and head straight to A's house. He gets ruffed up and everything. Rumors spread that B was stabbed by A. (Crazy rumors).

After all this, I felt conflicted. I said "if someone had died tonight, would anything really happen?" I was doubtfull that somthing would. I mean, my nation has had a number of deaths, a war and then this. I wonder, what would it really take? Does anyone care, at all? The after-math of this event showed me I was right, not many did care. People were siding aganst people, saying "that person should be locked up" or whatever. The thing that striked my mind was, no one was caring about either of the kids. Did anyone care that this inident happend, and it shouldn't have. Or these people were hurt. Where are the "traditional leaders" now, bitch's! Then I started to feel, with the lack of community support, and more community judgment, it was a lost hope.

I wasn't sure if I should call the West Vancouver Police Department and report what I had seen since I was sober. After carefull consideration, I realized that would of been a wrong aproach. Outside affairs should not be involved in the dealings of our own people. If we are to assert outselves as a "nation", we must deal with things properly. The problem lied behind fear and courage. For someone to be couragous enough to speak out, and be a leader. People are affraid and lack confidence to pull of somthing like this. To start asking the right question, instead of blaming.

The other thing is people were quicked to judge. Some people mentioned how it annoyed them that the person with the knives was coming off as "the victim". And that he should be locked up. Now, there is alot of seperate history behind both of these kids, and I say kids with stress. But the reality of the situation is, there are no victims, we can all make choices. And that is a reality of everything. We can't blame them or condemn either of these kids. The actions they took happend, and they should take responsability for these actions. The people to enforce this form of law, would be our leaders, elders and community. Unfortunaly the infrastructure for this form of society was beaten out of us. But as mentioned before, the people are waiting for a leader to peak his/her head out to speak out and start saying what really matters. Maybe that person will be me? We sha'll see.


Here I am worried and pondering all these things when a week later after the incident, I wake up the strangest of things. I slowly roll out of bed, walk to the TV, turn it on and wait for Yu-Gi-Oh (series finale). I missed last weeks so I wanted to watch this one. Unfortunaly I didn't have a say in the matter as kexe7nek siyam had other plans for me (doesn't he always). I hear these drums and womens voices. People yelling and police sirens. Naturaly I wonder 'what the heck'. I open the blinds and see a large group of community members. They are marching up the street. Banners waving. Singer wailling. Women marching. It was a march aganst drugs (and maybe other things).

Some of my nations Councilors, whom I am friends with, see me and call me out. They then ask me to join them. I wonder "TV show, or march?". The choice wasn't that hard. I grab my sandals and start marching around with them. Now, the funny thing was, this happend last year and I joined in the exact same way...lol They give me a drum and ask me to sing away. I sing all our songs; the warrior song, the victory song, the celebration song, the eagle song, the everything. People were singing with me and everything. We march through-out the entire reserve as a community. The amazing and truly radical thing was, we marched to the doors of the drug dealers. All of the people involved, march up, knock on the door, sing our songs as our leaders speak with the drug dealers.

IT WAS absolutly amazing seeing these drug dealers faces. Imagine being a drug leaders, dealing all kinds of drugs, waking up to 50 or more people at your front door sing "the warrior" song with the community leaders telling you "We know what you are doing, and we want it to stop. We want our children to live in a safe enviroment in our community", as singers are wailing and progessvily getting louder and louder with their singing voices and drums. One big, WOW! We walked all over the reserve. Past every house, to the houses. The even more amazing thing was peoples support. People, (just like me), would come to the windows wondering 'what the heck is going on'. They then would see all these peoples with banners, drums, speaker-phones and everything, marching up the street, knocking on these drug dealers doors. People would raise their hands up to us in thanks, smile away, give thumbs up.

We walked past an elders house, an elder who can barly walk, gets on her balcony and beins to dance as we sing our songs. She smiling away, dancing to the songs as we cheer and chant. Now, let's have a look at this for a second. It wasn't a program that did this. It wasn't funded by the goverment. It wasn't workshoped, nor conferenced. This community lead initative, was such a profound impact for such a small thing. Unfortunaly it was badly marketed and not many knew about it. Hopefully my recommendation to let more people know will go a far ways for the next march. The whole concept was just amazing. It was shocking and up-lifting. Where my heart was on confusion and disarray, kexe7nek siyam picked it up with this. It was just awe inspiring. Telling people what we were doing was even more fun. I remember walking past my friends house, ready to sing a song he composed, wondering "is he there". I begin the song, look over and see him standing outside. He smiles and raises his hands as I chant louder and louder. I can happily say, it made my day. Everything about that day, made my day.


As for what's been going on with OldManRivers. Alot. Schools over for the year soon. I double booked myself for this wednesday. I'm doing a school final project play. Finishing the documentry I havn't started. And still questioning "what am I going to do next year". What been even funner is becoming friends with friends I'm already friends with....friends. (I felt like saying it a fourth time...lol) This person and I seem to "click" now, and for reason that are hard to explain (She's become green.) Then I notice how other people just somtimes digust me and I wonder "why do I surround myself with these people." All important questions, with even more important awnsers. But it feels nice to feel nice.

Recently I have found my new favorite artist. His name is XAVIER RUDD. He's Australian born, but has travel all over. His wives Canadian and owns some kind of producing company in Vancouver. (Wiki him if you really care). Anywho, his lyrics are amazing. He's a white guy who actualy gets it. He's toataly lovin' the natives, and alot of his songs deal with natives. He was adopted into an aborigine family in Australia, given a name and everything. (Actualy, I wonder if the "Dance Me Outside"ed him...lol Here's a part of a songed called 'A Fourth World'. The said he wrote this song about how he didn't like how Australian education with aboriginal people was from a colonial stand point. All British History and deals very little with the actual history of the land they are on.

Here we are under these particular stars
Here we stand Victorian
Where the white folk can grow to no so
Very little about the black folk
The same folk who rightfully own
This piece of beauty that we
call our home

Not are only the lyrics fun to listen to but this guy really is lovin' the natives. He has a number of songs similar themes and everything with natives. The guy is a fantastic guitar player, has a wicked voice and plays an whole array of instruments. I recomment you download a few of his songs. I reccomend "Fortune Teller", "Messages", "Jack" and "The Fourth World". Go NOW! Seriously, go now and listen to this guy.

"Hey OMAR, you still havn't told us about this amazing idea!"

Yes, you are right. This amazing idea will blow you away. I was wondering, what is a way I can really support Skwxwu7mesh youth to do a youth project that really inovolves them with cultural teachings. I then being to think and come up with a "Youth Canoe". A canoe devoted specificaly for youth. The project will be youth organized, ran and completed. I have spoked with the canoe carver in mind, got his price, comments and approval. I am hoping to do this project for next summer. 4 weeks to carve the canoe and one big celebrate. The canoe won't be a huge sea going canoe, but somthing easy enough for us to handle to have some fun with and enjoy. Yes baby, you'll be hearing of this youth canoe project more. This is one project I will do and complete! That about lays it out for an update. (See what happens when I don't post frequenlty). Unfortunaly I am too tired to post more of my observations about life, but this will surfice. It's been great so far with wierd twists and turns but I've been lovin' it. Always questioning myself and challenging life even more. The journey is just begin and I want more.

Everything is diffuclt, untill it becomes easy.

Death to All!

I write this at 12 AM, on the day of the beast: 6/6/06 (woooo!). I write this for a number of reasons; I havn't blogged in a long time; so I can remember what I'm thinking/feeling right now; and so you may learn from my experence.

Today was one of "those" days. The days where at the end of it you don't feel like you've lived your life purpose. I guess to understand "those" days, you must understand "the" days. The days where, when your going go sleep at night, your feeling "I did exactly what I want to do today, and I feel fantastic about it". Today was one of those days where I felt a near opposite of that. I didn't accomplish anything. I didn't become more of who I wanted to be. I didn't do alot of things. What I did do is a bit more importance for how I am feeling right now, and have felt before but never with such energy.

I started off my day with a ugly start. My alarm went off and I decided to ignor it. Last night I made the stupid mistake to stay away to watch my addiction; TV. I then slept through my alarm and said "ah fuck it". Eventualy 9 AM rolled through and there was no way I could make it for PE. Whoa, whoa, whoa; let's back track it a little bit. Last monday; I slept in and missed PE. Tuesday; I slept in and missed PE. Wednesday I went to school. Thursday; I missed school and did nothing. Friday; I missed school and but had quasi-fun. Saturday; bit more fun. Sunday; not a whole lot of living. Monday; no living what so ever. Now to the present. I missed school and I don't feel bad or wrong about that. (Funny I say that since bad and wrong and points of view) But I wonder what I am going to do.

I want to be the change I wish to see in this world, but I'm playing self-defeating games before I even get onto the warrior path. Let's own up to some fact. The highest MATH I have is gr. 7. The highest science I have is SCIENCE 9, which I only passed with a Standing Granted (the teacher is a nice guy. The highest English I have is english 9. I'm where I'm suposed to be with Socials, but if we looked at this objectivly, someone would say I'm screwed. I again played some more self defeating games in January and signed up for ACTING 12, FILM & TELEVISION 11, and PE Conditioning, with a spare. I was "intending" to do corrispondence to catch up, but I have made little effort to do so. I got the papers signed and everything, but now I lost them. It's a semester later and I have nothing to show. I wonder what I am going to do. I am no-where. Here and now? I don't feel so.

Where is this 'Confident Determined' man with a purpose. All I see is a self-sabotaging kid who is no where near being noble. This same self defeating game of kicking myself before success comes into play again. Yet, I wish to see the change in myself I want to become. I don't feel like I've accomplished somthing, or anything. And where is my support, my brothers and sisters who'll help me up. No idea. I know a few are on the island, but I've become so sullen I havn't let anyone in, nor do I feel comfortbale to do so. To the ones I love I feel uncomfortable to open up to. Yes, now my strengths have become MY weakness.

Now after all this venting and unleashing, where am I. What to do next? My plan was to do summer school for English 10. 6 Weeks of that and I can own up to my failure. If that puts me on course there, I can do English 11 first semester, English 12 in the second. I can do Science 10 first semester, Bio 11 in the second. This "math" and "planning" thing seem to be the biggest problem. I could do it by corrispondence like I originaly planned, but I would have 4 years of math to do in 1. (Not impossible, but the wall looked high). If that plan worked, I would graduate next year on time. I could leave high school behind and start to move on. High school, like this house, has felt like a barrier for me to hide behind. I've never been able to take responsability for my actions, and my dreams. I feel that in order for me to grow I have to leave, and live. I've accepted I can always go to post-secondary after. But the new train of thought is; is this really the last year of Carson Graham for me?

I'm starting to think of other alternatives. If I choose to do the Lucas Center, all the other crap, and joys, of school would be out of the way for me to focus on my education and finaly get my damn diploma and graduate. Unfortunatly, all this other stuff keeps poping into my mind; gradutating. The grad class events, the prom, the stage, the year book. It all keeps poping into my mind as somthing I might regret. Somthing I wish I should of done. I have no idea if I will feel that way, but it is bugging the heck out of me. These questions of "is this an extremly important time of my life" and "will this matter when I'm the suposed leader I'm made out to be". I look at my friend who have graduated and are out there in the 'real world'; none of it seems important to them because there life is different and they've moved on. They have families, new friends and a new life. I know I can have the same but it still comes back to this question of the "GRAD CLASS". Am I stressed over what people will think of me? Not really. But I am questioning what I will feel over it all. It's time for me to start seriously thinking about what OldManRivers really wants. I've learned that what we want, and what we truly want, clash. I want to live life, but I want stay at Carson. But now I think "Dustin Rivers, big picture, what do you want in life?". Now theres a question worth anwsering. This part of my life is really challenging, but everything is difficult until it becomes easy.


Q: Dustin Rivers, big picture what do you want more of in your life?
A: Life.

(I think I have my awnser)